Satire: Father, Son and the Holy Ghost of Culture

WION New Delhi, Delhi, India Dec 31, 2016, 01.53 PM(IST) Written By: Nishtha Gautam

The SP had been battling a damaging power struggle between Akhilesh and Mulayam for months. Photograph:( Zee News Network )

On Friday the 30th, dark clouds of foreboding were hovering over the abode of the ruling clan in Uttar Pradesh, the most populous state of India. The most hackneyed trope in the history of humanity- the son at loggerheads with his father which began with God, the Creator and Satan, the Archangel- had been getting repeated here for quite some time. It culminated in the Soft Lion King exiling his Cub Prince for six years. All eyes were on the Cub Prince, who’d been heard roaring in anguish and indignation. Would he exact revenge? 

But Uttar Pradesh is the land of Lord Ram, the ideal son, who did not flinch when his father, the king of Ayodhya, exiled him for fourteen years. Had the Cub Prince forgotten his culture and traditions? The Lotus Eaters, of the competing house, whispered that the answer was hidden in the foundation of the Lion Kingdom. 

What is now Uttar Pradesh was once the playground of the Mughals. Yeah, those foreign barbarians that settled in India, unleashing unspeakable atrocities upon the local Hindus. The Hindus ran helter-skelter seeking deliverance from this tyranny. 

Ram Rajya, the ideal statehood, was only a memory of a distant past. The Mughals, however, had one ironical redemptive feature. They did not spare even their own. Fathers and sons were oft seen in conflict with each other. Gasp! 

Centuries later, when the Lotus Eaters appropriated Lord Ram, the Soft Lion King embraced the Mughals. In India, Lord Ram and the Mughals are made to stand at the either side of deep fault-lines. The Lion Kingdom, thus, flourished in Uttar Pradesh brandishing the Green mantle in a striking contrast to the Saffron one of the Lotus Eaters.

Was it then more relevant to invoke Aurangzeb than Lord Ram to define the feud in the Lion Kingdom? The Lotus Eaters were gloating at what they called poetic justice. Forgetting Lord Ram and glorifying the Mughals has to come with a price tag, right? Fathers and sons in the Indian culture never fight. No sir, we know not of any discord in the Great Indian Family system. It is all foreign influence. Or the fault of the women. It was a woman that caused the great war of the Mahabharata. 

As dawn broke on the eve of the New Year, India was abuzz with speculations regarding Uttar Pradesh. Would the Cub Prince go the Aurangzeb way and dethrone the Soft Lion King? Or would he do a Ghar Wapasi like the obedient Lord Ram? 

By afternoon, the Cub Prince emerged victorious as he made a dignified comeback to the lair. It is rumoured that a Mughal Prince, who’s known for riding buffaloes, brokered peace between the father and the son, exorcising the Unholy Ghost who is often seen causing mischief. 

This comeback, however, raises several questions. And leaked photoshopped emails fan this fire. What if the feud is an orchestrated one to keep the Lion Kingdom intact in the face of the Lotus Eaters’ attack in a couple of months? This is something that the Lions may have learnt from Lord Ram’s arch enemy, Ravan- the king of Lanka. Ravan’s malcontent younger brother Vibhishan joined the gang of Lord Ram. While the plebeians hailed his idealism, somebody in the Lankan Empire LOLed. Lanka was to remain with a Lankan prince even if Ravan stood defeated. 

It's all within the family, silly!