Why your parents' home always feels more comfortable than your own

Many of us can relate to the phenomenon of stepping into our parents’ houses and immediately feeling at ease. Our shoulders relax, the voices in our heads fade away, and an unspoken feeling of coziness takes hold. It doesn’t matter that the furniture is out-of-date or that the decorations don’t measure up to Pinterest standards or that the layout isn’t anything fancy — there’s something about their house that just feels warm in a way our meticulously designed homes rarely can. Why? Surprisingly, the reason has very little to do with interior decorating.

Slowly-Built Homes

The house you grew up in didn’t come together in just a few days; it was crafted through many years, with bits and pieces accumulating one at a time. The scratch on the dining room table, the curtains which were never replaced, the chair that was patched up instead of being discarded – all of these little things have stories to tell. They make the place feel full of history and warmth in ways that no sales floor ever could.

On the other hand, most of us construct our own living spaces in a rush. We move into a new flat, buy furniture from the same catalogue, and get everything “in order” as fast as we possibly can. That could be pretty good, but there is something usually intangible that it misses.

The feeling of nostalgia certainly holds great importance for us in terms of emotions. The house of one’s parents is always an indication of that beautiful time of life when we were happy and carefree. Our personal houses, on the contrary, are usually connected to stresses related to the EMI, working schedules, and never-ending to-do lists. However, regardless of the beauty of our home, our minds manage to turn it into something different due to the presence of all kinds of thoughts and worries.

Imperfections Are Part of Life

Parents' houses are almost never perfect – but it is what makes them special. The not always matching colors of pillows, unappealing walls that are waiting for repainting, and, generally, the coziness of living in such an imperfect place are the essence of such spaces.

These days, we live under the illusion that our home should also be perfect. However, it seems that social media and various ideas for decoration take all the joy and comfort out of it.

“The design of homes has changed quite a bit through time. Back then, each home had something personal about it because all the fabrics used were homemade, and furniture made was handed down through generations. Now, however, people prefer the aesthetic look more than anything. This is the problem. Why is it that when we add hand-made things or even elements of nature into our homes, it feels better? It is because there is no personal element involved anymore,” Raghunandan Saraf, Founder of Saraf Furniture, shared.

The Comforts of Routine

There is one thing more that should be pointed out regarding the process of life in an established family. Routines have always been a part of families, which have a specific time for meals, for sleeping, and for everything else throughout their day. Eventually, it becomes the defining quality of a family’s home.
A young family, by contrast, is the embodiment of unpredictability – no fixed routines, very late hours, and a constantly changing outlook on things. Even a tasteful family house fails to hide its instability.

It’s the People that Make a Home

Above all else, a home is created by the people who reside within its walls. The home of the parents has many moments of connection, whether over a cup of tea, around the table, or even when there is silence just being together. In fact, even the silence in a place like this will be warm, simply because it is shared.

There are times when living alone makes our own space more emotionally empty, although still beautiful.

Creating Your Own Comfort

The good thing about comfort is that it doesn't depend on the cost and design of the house, it depends on your intention to create a place of peace. It requires some time, some patience and a completely different approach. Allow yourself and your space to develop, establish your own rituals to make your life more balanced. Put some personal stuff in your living space instead of beautiful things. Focus on your feelings and not on the image of your rooms. Most importantly, really live there.

What makes the house of your parents so comfortable? It simply has a lot of history behind it. You probably won't be able to create that at once – but you can do it in your own way in the course of time. Not the most beautiful home. But definitely the most comfortable for you.

This article is authored by Raghunandan Saraf, Founder of Saraf Furniture.