Online dating destroying your mental health? Know these toxic trends and swipe left

As technology advances, dating is no longer limited to finding a partner at a party or through a mutual connection. Online dating has gained momentum in the past decade, allowing people to choose a romantic partner sitting across time zones by swiping right.

According to Statista, the online dating market in India is expected to reach US $69.90 million in 2024. As the trend of finding partners through apps and websites continues, it is imperative to consider the issues it may bring.

To understand the downsides of this emerging trend of online dating, WION spoke to an expert, Kamna Chibber, Head of Department, Mental Health & Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Memorial Research Institute, Gurugram.

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Asked whether online dating culture is toxic, Chibber said, "It cannot be called toxic in itself. The approach individuals adopt can make it toxic, which then relates to a person's conduct in how they date".

New and emerging terminology in the online dating arena

Modern relationships come with new ways to describe each phase of your dating journey. With the emergence of online dating platforms, there are no longer only three phases in the journey- dating, engaged and married. It is much more complicated than that.

Ghosting
It is the act of a person completely ignoring his/her partner abruptly. The person won't reply to calls or texts and vanishes like a ghost, hence the name. This adversely impacts the person who gets 'ghosted', and they may begin to blame themselves.

Zombieing
Zombieing occurs after ghosting when a person comes back to rekindle the relationship with the person they ghosted before. The person tries to woo the partner by justifying their reason for ghosting and convincing them that they are a changed person now.

Situationship
One of the most popular terms in modern relationships is sitautionships. It involves people getting romantically involved out of convenience. To describe it in easier terms, it is not as serious as relationships and does not require that level of commitment.

These are a few emerging trends in the online dating era that govern modern relationships.

Impact of online dating on mental health

Online dating is a tool, and using it efficiently or misusing it depends on the user. "There is no direct link to a specific clinical condition. Multiple factors come together to precipitate a clinical condition or disorder. Directly linking online dating experiences to an illness is incorrect," Kamna Chibber said.

Asked whether factors like age, gender, and sexual orientation play into the experiences of toxic online dating Chibber said, "Online dating can provide individuals anonymity and the ability to disappear or ghost or block people. People can misrepresent their age, gender, sexual preferences and other realities of their life unless there are guardrails built into the system. As a result, there can be difficult or toxic experiences that users of online dating can be vulnerable to."

Another downside associated with the excessive use of dating apps is 'dating app burnout'. A recent survey revealed that on average a user spends 51 minutes on dating apps. Men spend less than 49 minutes a day while women spend around 52 minutes daily.

Scrolling mindlessly on dating platforms can be mentally exhausting. There is always pressure from within to appear 'interesting' to all your potential matches. Additionally, if a connection doesn't pan out,self-doubt begins to kick in and the vicious cycle of overthinking and criticising oneself begins.

Effective ways to deal with online dating so that it doesn't affect you adversely

When asked how online dating differs from traditional dating in terms of psychological impact, Chibber said, "The differences relate to the availability of potential partners and the way individuals might invest in relationships. From a psychological standpoint if the relational quality is good then the impact would not be different for either new or traditional ways of dating."

On how to effectively deal with the online dating culture, Chibber has a few words of advice,"Have clarity of what you are seeking from a dating relationship. Be particular about verifying facts. Walk away when you see red flags. Take responsibility for your own behaviour. Be authentic and honest from your side," she said.