'Military called in' after TikTok 'tea tutorial' triggers war between US and UK

A spat over the correct way to brew a cup of tea has boiled over, with both the UK and US ambassadors sticking their spoons in.

There have been more severe transatlantic bust-ups over a brew, such as theAmerican Revolution, but few can have been quite so twee. Nearly 250 years after the Boston Tea Party, the British ambassador in Washington and her US counterpart in London are going at it over how to make a decent hot drink. And by Wednesday evening, the conflict was spilling over into mainland Europe.

Like many tense diplomatic standoffs, it began with a deliberate provocation. An American TikTok user going by the name of Michelle from North Carolina posted a video showing how to make what she describes as “hot tea”, which entails mixing milk with powdered lemonade, cinnamon, cloves, sugar and Tang, which turns out to be a soft drink.

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As an afterthought she dunked a teabag, and then put the whole thing in the microwave. Her subsequent attempt at “British tea” involvedcold water first. The British internet lost its marbles.

Michelle from North Carolina, who actually lives in Britain and has proven herself to be a supremely effective wind-up merchant with follow-ups including her recipe for “UK eggs”, quickly amassed 5m TikTok likes. Meanwhile, the UK’s powerful ability to get on its high horse about elevenses kicked into gear.

It was all too much for British users, who take great pride in their homespun national drink, with its leaves imported primarily from Kenya, India and Malawi.

The twin themes in the furious outpouring of comments were “war crime” and “diabetes”.

Undeterred, Michelle followed up with a guide to “British tea”.

It was with her video this week on British eggs, using canned whipped cream, that Michelle, who lives in the UK, confirmed suspicions that she is indeed very much in on the joke.

She has amassed more than five million likes so far for her efforts.

But she has also incited righteous anger in a nation close to a boiling point, and with a lot of time on its hands.

Calling in the military

So Dame Karen Pierce, British Ambassador to the United States in Washington, called in the military.

In a video posted on Monday, she got the boys from the British Army, Navy, and Air Force to demonstrate how to prepare tea, in a manner both patriotic and pukka.

There was even a nod to how to conduct high tea at high altitude.

Pierce had the armed forces behind her but when Woody Johnson, the US Ambassador to the United Kingdom got involved on Wednesday, he made like Dirty Harry and went in solo.

His strategy was a smart one. He went after Britain's weakness: coffee. However,he makes what appears to be an absolutely terrible cup of coffee.

He commits the cardinal sin of using instant coffee, raising the hackles of any connoisseur faster than hot water dissolves a freeze-dried granule.

As people around the world have been upping their gourmet antics during lockdown, with their sourdough starters and their AeroPress cold brews, there can be just one message for Johnson. Do better.

There have no been no video responses yet from Raffaele Trombetta, Ambassador of Italy to the UK since 2018, and Armando Varricchio, Ambassador of Italy to the US for the past four years.

Nor have there been comments on TikTok tea from Liu Xiaoming, China's Ambassador to the UK, or Josephat Karanja and Gaitri I. Kumar, respectively Kenya and India's High Commissioners to the UK.