Sexual arousal makes you think someone likes you even if they do not, study says

Scientists say that the reason why a lot of people think they have met their perfect match but end up heartbroken is sexual attraction. If you get that tingling feeling, or simply put, are “turned on” by your date, you develop what is called "tunnel vision", which prevents you from seeing things for how they actually are. So even if the other person isn't into you, the sexual arousal sends your brain the signal that they are, according to the study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. This is why when they end things abruptly, it comes as a shock. Lead author of the study, Gurit Birnbaum, said, "Sexual arousal made participants significantly more likely to interpret ambiguous interactions optimistically." The psychology professor from Reichman University explains that people see interest where there is none because of "arousal", which "increased the partner's desirability" and led people to see what they "wanted to see." This leads them to miss out on the subtle cues that show their disinterest, as the sexual factor leads their brains to reject them.

Eroticism makes one optimistic about a relationship

For the study, researchers divided participants into two groups. One of them watched a sexual video and then was told to have an online conversation. Those on the other side were asked to give them mixed signals about their interest in that person. The other group watched a non-sexual video and had a similar chat. The results were clear. The group that watched the erotic video showed desirability for the person they were chatting with, and believed they were interested in having a romantic relationship. The only exception was cases where the person categorically expressed a lack of desire. Birnbaum said, that their findings show that "sexual arousal distorts perception only when the situation leaves room for hope." In such cases, people "push past the fear of rejection by tilting perception in a more hopeful direction."

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Birnbaum said that this optimism is essential in the early stages of a relationship. She also pointed out that it not only ends up hurting the person having such feelings, but also leads to a lack of understanding of the other person's wishes "Desire can overshadow sensitivity to another person's actual wishes," she explained. Sexual attraction leads them to "see it as we hope it to be – missing the signs that the door is not actually open." The study authors say that this finding should be tested in a more natural setting, such as a dating platform.