Gen Z is different from millennials when it comes to exes. But there is a catch

Gen Z are showing a major change in the way they date, which stands in stark contrast to millennials. According to a survey by dating platform QuackQuack, the younger group has no qualms about their current partner being in touch with their ex. Meanwhile, this has been a major issue for millennials who see the involvement of an ex as an "emotional complication." The survey found that over 36 per cent of these daters from Tier 1 and 2 cities to draw strict boundaries regarding the same. However, turns out, Gen Z is pretty cool about the ex stuff. A majority of participants said that they had no problems if their partner was still in touch with their ex. "They see that as a sign of emotional maturity rather than fearing unresolved feelings. Unlike the previous generations, exes are neither a threat nor the villain in their stories; not for all, but in most cases," Ravi Mittal, Founder & CEO of QuackQuack, said.

The condition is that the relationship should now be purely "platonic" and they should be "transparent about it." The survey noted that "57% of GenZ daters think open communication and trust matter much more than cutting ties with an ex." Besides, "If there are lingering feelings, forcing someone to sever contact does not really help resolve things." We talked to a few Gen Z and Millennial daters about what they had to say about the findings. Millennials largely agree that this has always been the case with them.

"An ex should stay out of the picture. When two people have been in a relationship, it is hard for them to act platonically. So it's best to call it off fully," Saurav, an IT worker, says. For Prashant, it is a matter of trust and respect. "I should trust my partner, and I should respect my partner's choice. So I am OK with it. However, yes, the larger millennial group is definitely not fine with an ex being in their partner's life."

For Gen Z, the findings aren't exactly surprising. However, they would also want their partner to draw some kind of boundary with their ex. "Even if my partner is still in touch with their ex, I would like to be aware of it. What's important is communication. If something is being deliberately hidden, obviously something is wrong. Transparency is very important," Meenu says. Meanwhile, Pragati, a Gen Z, speaking in #nofilter mode, said that any contact with an ex is a strict no-no. "I am against my partner being in touch with his ex. It is impractical and makes no sense. Why would you want to be in touch with your ex for any reason?" she said.

She says it comes down to past feelings for that person. "An ex is not just a person; they are memories, attachments, history, and emotions that once meant something deeply. So when you see your partner, your present, still connecting with their past, it naturally leads to thoughts in your mind. You start overthinking the small things. You wonder if there are still feelings left somewhere," she reasons. "From this arise jealousy and insecurity. It is not about possessiveness, but emotional connection and fear of losing someone you genuinely love. In the Gen Z world, people call it insecurity or jealousy. But they are simply feelings that need reassurance, clarity, and boundaries."

Another area where the two generations differ is boundaries. Millennials do not want their partner to overstep and are clear about having their space. "Eight out of 10 respondents between 30 and 35 said they cherish uninterrupted personal time. According to these singles, it's important to have regular individual space and some moments of intentional no contact to maintain emotional balance," the survey noted. But for Gen Z, too much space is not acceptable. "Over 56% of GenZ daters from Pune, Indore, Calicut, Bhubaneshwar, Mumbai, Delhi, and Bangalore said that they feel much at ease when there are regular updates, consistent online interaction, and quick replies from their matches," it found. "Less communication translates to emotional unavailability," a participant said.

Prashant says it basically boils down to how Millennials and Gen Z express, which is something the latter is clearly better at. "I wasn't comfortable with expressing my expectations, and overthought about being available and reaching out all the time. I wanted it, but could not say it." He added that the space comes later on when things get more comfortable. "Gen Z are better at expressing, and they are doing essentially the same thing but saying it out loud, and that is the difference," he says. For Pragati, being Gen Z does not automatically mean she does not need space. “I’m Gen Z, but when it comes to constant talking, I shift into millennial mode. With constant screen time and so much to do, I need some time for myself, can't text or call all the time.”