Father's Day Special: Silent struggles of working dads

- Written by Carina Kohli

While ‘working mom’ is a common term, one rarely uses the term ‘working dad’. In most parts of the world, men are expected and conditioned, almost by default, to be breadwinners, protectors, disciplinarians, and heads of households. When men become fathers, the responsibility of financially providing for their growing families is just the tip of the iceberg.

Male infertility

Even before conception, dads-to-be face struggles, starting with having a hard time with conception and infertility struggles. According to the Indian Society of Assisted Reproduction (ISAR), infertility affects 10–14 per centof Indian couples, and a recent WHO report on the status of infertility in India found that approximately 50 per centof that can be attributed to low counts in males. There is a deep stigma associated with infertility in males, and historically the focus has been primarily on female fertility, leading to a lack of awareness and diagnosis related to fertility in males. Failure or struggles to conceive can adversely affect men mentally, emotionally, and socially, as well as lead to disengagement and disconnect from their professional lives and careers.

Work-life balance

While financial pressure is the most often discussed problem that working dads face, it is important to consider the toll such work-life balancing pressure takes on their health. According to a study conducted by Future Generali India Life Insurance Company Limited and Market Xcel - Market Agency Research in India, 85 per centof fathers reported that they felt they were not able to achieve work-life balance. With 68 per centof Indian fathers working six days a week, the results include them putting their own health on a backseat as they do their best to spend time with their family.

Especially new dads, who may or may not be able to take time off for antenatal appointments or take paternity leave, feel a sense of guilt for not being able to support their spouse through the first critical thousand days. The early days of their baby’s life often include working fathers battling fatigue, sleepless nights, hair loss, anxiety, stress and a sense of not being as close or needed by the baby.

Paternal postpartum depression

Around 1 in 10 men experience paternal postpartum depression (PPD) after the birth of their child, and question if they would be a good parent. PPD or PPA (Post-Partum Anxiety) can be hard to spot in men as the symptoms may overlap with the general stress of taking care of a baby and professional pressure including their job security, networking at work, and pressure to increase their income.

As working dads strive to be more involved in the caretaking process to reduce the unequal burden of childcare solely expected to be taken up by mothers, the lack of support systems, stigma and negative attitudes about men as caretakers make it hard for them to voice their concerns or seek help from experts and doctors when required. Research shows that working dads may also struggle with the changes in their relationship with their spouse, disengagement at work due to new stressors, and fear being seen as a failure for needing help or support to cope with the changes in both their professional and personal lives.

*The writer is the founder ofHumm Care.

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