"I am not crazy; my mother had me tested."
“I always listen to myself. It’s one of the great joys of my life.”
“People say you can’t live without love; I think oxygen is more important.”
“I’m trying to get my speech down to 90 minutes.”
Bazinga!
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stop listening to you.”
“Then Suffer in Silence.”
“Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitate lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vapourises rock, and, as it always has, rock crushes scissors.”
“One cries because one is sad. I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad.”
“I’m sorry, coffee’s out of the question. When I moved to California I promised my mother that I wouldn’t start doing drugs."