We have been so concerned about all the scary things that Trump’s going to do, we forgot he’s also going to do some really stupid things
He still has no health care plan. He stayed up almost all night drinking Diet Cokes to come up with the Gulf of America
So, bad news: Groceries will still be expensive. Good news: Everybody’s getting new maps
Right now, everyone who moved to Canada after Trump won is like, ‘Well, I guess it’s off to the North Pole
You (Hollywood stars) could really do anything ... except tell the country who to vote for. But it’s OK, you'll get them next time ... if there is one. I'm scared
As for Canada, he plans on renaming it North North Dakota
So now, if I understand this correctly, the Gulf of Mexico will become the Gulf of America, New Mexico will be Dry America, and Cinco de Mayo will be the Fifth of Mayo
It’s like attending your own funeral, and even the mourners are like, ‘Woo-hoo!’
Crowd maybe smaller than usual but you can’t expect people to stand outside in the cold rain knowing they are about to lose their health care!
The 2016 inaugural concert featuring Three Doors Down, Lee Greenwood and Toby Keith was held in front of the Lincoln Memorial. It was the second worst live performance Lincoln has ever attended